I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
