How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Randomize
