is your mom at the bar?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
