So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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