If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I love you. Go after that dick
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
