Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
