Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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