It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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