Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
