I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
