one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
