He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
