and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
