Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
