That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
