I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
