brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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