Pappa wants mamma naked
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
