Is it normal to miss your booty call?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
