Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
