True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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