I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
