There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
