i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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