What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
