just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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