Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
