so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He passed out mid-signature
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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