i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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