is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
