She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
