I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
