you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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