It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
