Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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