Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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