What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
