I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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