We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dignity is for republicans.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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