Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
