I think I just saw someone hide a body.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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