dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
