At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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