Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
