Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
