And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
