i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
