yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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