I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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