I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My bed smells like the plague
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
