the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
