yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
