i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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